Closing the deal

Over a month ago, on behalf of my parents, I drafted 5 documents supporting a contract to sell their convenience store to a willing buyer. (There was a Promissory Note, a Financing Agreement, a Statement of Assurances, an Inventory Sale, and something else, maybe an explanatory letter. It's been so long ago I don't remember.) Since then we'll periodically call the buyer, who's already started operating the store, and he tells us that his lawyer is still reviewing our materials. All they need to do is sign the documents and mail them back to us. I composed little notary blocks and everything. (Side note: we're willing to wait a little, as the unpaid balance will be repaid at an interest rate that will be fixed at closing. The interest rate is based on the prime lending rate, which continues to rise every 6 weeks.)

So imagine my surprise today when we received a UPS envelope full of documents that are completely unrelated to what I drafted, topped by an illegible handwritten note on law firm stationery. Oh, it describes the same deal, I think, but it's like this idiot lawyer is trying to earn his keep. There's some Internet printout of the amortized payments over the next 15 years that seems hastily put together and unnecessary. Plus, he's not a title company -- did he really need to draft a settlement statement? Maybe he needs to justify his service fees so he's able to afford those yellow "Sign here" stickers. (But no notary blocks! Damn him!) It's going to take us quite a while just to figure out what the hell he did and why it took him over a month to do it. I mean, I did his work for him back in early March, and I did it for free.

I hate lawyers.