Friday, April 28, 2006

Super colon blow

You know all those sneak previews I've been attending? Well, come Monday I get treated to a different kind of advance screening: I'm having a colonoscopy. About ten years ahead of schedule.

It's a family history thing; no need to be concerned. But look at it this way: I'll be the Katie Couric of bloggers.

55 Fiction Friday thinks this town needs an enema.

"Oh my God, y'all," Britney realized. "I forgot to feed the baby today."

Jamie-Lynn stood up. "I'll go."

"No, sis. Kev'll do it."

Once summoned, he wiped off his orange fingers, opened a jar of baby food, and shoved a spoon inside. He then placed it in front of his infant son.

"You got served!"

9 comments:

Rob said...

I love that contraction: "Kev'll"

Mike said...

Please tell me that his fingers are orange from Cheetos.

bdure said...

Ouch. I had a sigmoidoscopy once, which is better in the sense that they don't quite go as far but worse in the sense that they offer nothing by way of chemical distraction. If I have to do that again, I'm getting drunk for the very time in my life.

Neel Mehta said...

Rob: thanks. I debated leaving out both Britney and Kevin's names, and seeing if people would figure it out based on Jamie-Lynn. I chose the direct approach.

Mike: yes, it's a reference to the whole Cheetos thing. I'm not sure how fingers get orange in the alternative.

bdure: I was supposed to get a sigmoidoscopy, which should cover most issues down there. Then I was told it was more painful, so I upgraded.

Asian Provocateur said...

hey neel -- how old are you? and why do you need a colonoscopy? are you looking for polyps?

anyways, hope it all goes smoothly....

Mike said...

I was just hoping that I was laughing at the image you had intended. And I was!

Neel Mehta said...

AP: They say men should get screened around age 40. I'm 31.

And they're not looking for anything in particular. They're just browsing.

Mainline Mom said...

that's funny! not the colonoscopy, the you got served bit.

Neel Mehta said...

C'mon, MM. The colonoscopy is a little funny.

I'm clean as a whistle, by the way. So I won't be doing that again for another 5 years.