Thursday, November 24, 2005

Jive turkey

Brevity celebrates its first Thanksgiving: light on the food and football, heavy on the wine and Pictionary. I wish I could say I
was drawing well, but I owe my success to 55 Fiction Friday, who's one hell of a guesser ("a person falling, then there's someone's foot, and a cooling unit... tryptophan!").

I'll leave you all with a cinematic reminder on this day of feasting:
a little indigestion can be a big problem.



RANDY THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Can I get you something?

JIVE MAN IN BLUE SUIT : 'S mofo butter layin' me to the bone. Jackin' me up. Tightly.

RANDY: I'm sorry. I don't understand.

JIVE MAN IN BLACK SUIT: Cutty say he can't hang.

BARBARA BILLINGSLEY: Oh stewardess, I speak jive.

RANDY: Ohh, good.

BARBARA BILLINGSLEY: He said that he's in great pain, and he wants to know if you can help him.

RANDY: Would you tell him to just relax, and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine.

BARBARA BILLINGSLEY: Just hang loose, blood. She gonna catch up on the rebound on de med-cide.

JIVE MAN IN BLUE SUIT: What it is, big mamma? My mamma didn't raise no dummy. I dug her rap!

BARBARA BILLINGSLEY: Cut me some slack, jack! Chump don't wanna no help, chump don't git no help. Jive ass dude done got no brains anyhow!

4 comments:

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

BARBARA BILLINGSLEY: Oh stewardess, I speak jive.

This has to be one of the best-delivered lines in movie history.

Courtney said...

Truer words have never been spoken.

Which reminds me of an amusing anecdote: I proctored a course evaluation on Tuesday for one of the professors in my department.

Black kid in front row: We're having a quiz?
Really white TA (me): No, it's course evaluation day.
Black kid: That's cool, 'cause he's tight. [Pause while he appears to debate translating this for aforementioned white chick.] He's a really good teacher.

Michael said...

Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady, got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head! You Know?
(GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.)

Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man!
(YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.)

I say hey sky, s'other say I won say, I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol.
(I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP BEING SORRY.)

Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
(DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL CHOICE.)

You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac, lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em!
(EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND WISE.)

(Col' got to be! Yo!)
(HOW TRUE!)

Sheeeeeeet!
(GOLLY!)

muebles en zamora said...

Pretty helpful piece of writing, thanks so much for your post.