The worst Mother's Day movie ever

Technically, Georgia Rule is not the most inappropriate movie ever released on a Mother's Day weekend. Even this year, 28 Weeks Later is less fitting, but then, no one's airing a commercial telling you to take your mother to the zombie virus movie. Apparently, you should take her to see zombie Lindsay Lohan instead.

This movie made news months ago when its producer published this letter, warning Lohan to quit making "bogus excuses" like heat exhaustion for her behavior. His letter was more entertaining than his movie, some bizarre combination of small-town life and a family saga of women who've hit rock bottom.

The marketing focuses on the intergenerational cast of Jane Fonda, Felicity Huffman, and Lindsay Lohan. When seeing their faces on the poster, I cracked that Fonda and Lohan have the same amount of sun damage, but now I realize that's an insult to Fonda. Basically, Fonda's character is rigid, Huffman's is drunk, and Lohan... is not acting. I don't know what attracted them to this script in the first place, nor how it got financed and made.

The film takes an unusual turn when Lohan's character alleges that her stepfather (Cary Elwes, above) molested her as a preteen. The rest of the film examines whether she's telling the truth or is so messed up as to fabricate the allegation.

Neither option sounds appealing, especially to the unsuspecting audience members who came in for comedy. Providing this plot twist, in my opinion, is a public service that overrides any spoiler considerations. You can take your mother to see this, but at least let her know what to expect.

Even on its merits (?), the whole thing is a mess. There's no reason one would suspect this movie was directed by Garry Marshall, aside from a brief appearance from regular player Hector Elizondo. Just a waste of talent all around.