I've waited 32 years, but now Time magazine has named me its Person of the Year. I'll admit I lost heart in recent years, as the less worthy were recognized, like Dubya (twice!) and Bono.I may be biased, but this was the right choice. More importantly, it's the right time. Am I the only one who noticed that I receive this honor in Brevity's first full year? Of course not; the staff of Time noticed.
Even beyond Brevity, I made great strides this year. I did not lose an election. I never once went negative in a campaign commercial. I've made no anti-Semitic remarks. None of my foibles have been recorded on video and uploaded to the Internet. And I wore underwear when I was out in public.
As a final note, yes, I would have preferred that the magazine actually included my name instead of being vague about it. I'll be sure to e-mail the editors and request a correction.

5 comments:
Congratulations on all fronts, most importantly a year of Brevity. (It's so underrated.)
I was going to congratulate you...until that crack about Bono.
No sunglasses for you.
JR: Thank you. I strongly believe that a second full calendar year of Brevity will fetch me a Nobel Prize of some sort.
APL: Hard to say. I got arrested a lot, and I was drunk for all of November.
K-lyn: The things I have to say to get a rise out of you...
See I thought a better choice was the president of Iran.. ackmadenadenajad... ackmodonajed... eckmajenadude...
fuck it.
Brevity, you were definitely the better choice.
It can't work as a matter of fact, that's what I suppose.
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