Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Bunker mentality

When selling real estate, it helps to have a feature that makes your house stand out in the listings. It can be as common as a swimming pool or a city skyline view, or something rarer, like a waterfall or a courtyard. Up in Blaine, Washington, however, you can find a truly unique item: a 1900 square foot split level house with 3 bedrooms, 2+ baths, sunroom, new roof with skylights, cobblestone driveway, privacy fence, and 1400 square foot underground bunker.

According to Zillow, this massive fallout shelter lies 45 feet below the house and can hold up to 300 people. It even has a kitchenette! A house like this deserves its own website. Go ahead and click on "Subterranean fortress" to see photos. The house comes furnished with more than just furniture:

All bomb shelter supplies are stored on the lower 2 levels. Nitrogen-sealed food containers of wheat, corn, lentils and water. Other items include gas masks, vitamin C, tools, etc.

"Wow" falls short of my reaction. This is a place anyone (paranoid) would like to call home. The websites fail to emphasize another selling point: its proximity to the Canadian border. If we use the metric system -- might as well -- it's 200 meters. Here's a map.

How much do you want to bet that this bunker has a secret transnational tunnel? I'll wager fifty Canadian dollars.

Down there, Story 69 September knows no boundaries.

Charles felt uncomfortable in the community center
basement, listening to the stories of Fetishists Anonymous.
He marveled at these tales of sandal strokers, cellophane
wearers, and vicarious bug crushers. As the center of
attention shifted closer to him, Charles squirmed in his
plastic chair.

When it was his turn to speak he remained silent. He was
too ashamed to admit he got off on consensual intercourse
with his wife.


K-Lyn said...

How on earth did you find this???

And happy late B-day. I was spending a month dead, for tax reasons.

Neel Mehta said...

I found it at the Zillow blog. Why, was it supposed to be a big Cascadian secret? Like an Underground Railroad for liberals?

Glad to see you've resurfaced. I've been dead before, so no need to explain.

Dave Dionne said...

Finally, after 24 years, the manual on how Kenley built the bunker is finally available. If you are interested in a copy, contact Kate at Tell her LTD sent you.