Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Who is John Roberts?

The Official President's Manual clearly states that "when selecting a Supreme Court nominee, either pick someone on everyone's short list or someone on no one's short list." Today's announcement by President Bush of John G. Roberts, Jr. was a case of the latter. A quick Google News search told me what I wanted to know: yes, John Roberts once served under Bush the Elder, as deputy solicitor general.

I strongly suspect that the Bushes are not Hindu, but it's amazing how well karma fits into their presidencies. Serve in a lower-level capacity under Bush 41, get promoted to a cushy job under Bush 43. It's almost as if they had planned this arrangement from the beginning. Like maybe they created a phantom menace in Iraq back in the 1980s that would necessitate a war and... oh. So that's where George Lucas gets his ideas.

Well then, who is John Roberts? Harvard Law Review, blah blah blah. I don't know. At this stage in my life I have to believe that people are more than their resumes. (Take me for example. I cannot say how impressive my resume might be, but I can assure others that I'm a very impressive person.)

It's important to note that, with Justices William Rehnquist and John Paul Stevens sure to retire in the next few years, America will have John Roberts (if confirmed by the Senate) to maintain that all-too-delicate balance in the nation's highest court known as the White Man Quotient.


The Attractive Nuisance said...

Sure to retire? They'll be doing Rehnquist's autopsy on the bench!

Neel Mehta said...

So true. But that still means he's going to be replaced, unless:

1. Cryologists figure out a way to preserve his head. This could work, but somehow it would be more appropriate if Rehnquist, Walt Disney, and Ted Williams formed their own frozen three-judge panel.

2. His clerks figure out a way to make him appear alive. Great movie premise: First Monday in October meets Weekend at Bernie's!

K-Lyn said...

I'd feel better with a panel of Rehnquist, Disney and Williams.

Someone let me out of the handbasket!!!!!